Category: Learning

Fear the Rut of Competence

~ Jeff Kruman ~ 2 Comments

I have recently found myself in a rut of competence. This is an idea popularized by David Epstein in the book “Range”.

Basically, I have found myself in a position where I was not really growing. Aging, yes. Gaining weight, also yes. Gaining gray hairs, okay you get the point.

At 34 years old, it was easy to fall into a routine, easy to think there wasn’t a lot of new going on. At this age, it is harder to make new friends, harder to start a new physical activity and even harder to learn a language than when we were younger.

I think it is important to note that I was not miserable for much of this rut, life was and is good. Good job, friends, some hobbies that get me moving like golf and softball. But nothing… new.

That was when I read “Range.” The main idea is that we hyperfocus on specializing, thinking that is the way we get ahead. We see it today with kids in sports, if you want that college scholarship you need to be playing baseball and baseball only from the time you are a fetus if you want a chance. But is that true?

The book opens with a comparison of Tiger Woods and Roger Federer. From the outside, 2 very similar men at the top of their game, but as you dive deeper, they couldn’t be further apart.

Tiger grew up with golf and only golf. His dad was a task master who had him hyper focused on his game from an incredibly young age. Was he successful? Hard to argue against all the records, tournament and major wins, but when you weigh that against his battle with personal demons, you have to ask, was that worth it?

Federer on the other hand played a variety of sports as a kid. His parents encouraged him to be diversified in the sports he played, leading him to focus on tennis far later than many of his contemporaries. Yet, Roger credits his diverse athletic background with much of his success in tennis where he is arguably the greatest of all time.

I used to think that my life and career path was a little meandering. I changed my major from journalism to economics during college. I worked as a restaurant manager with that economics degree before quitting, traveling the world, enrolling in an MBA program and becoming a management consultant.

The thing I have come to realize is that this meandering path is not so meandering and the skills I picked up working a busy dinner shift or making my way through Vietnam or working on a  presentation for grad school have set me up to be the person I am today.

Back to the rut of competence. I found myself a little stuck. Feeling like I was not in my groove despite lots of positive characteristics. What happened?

I got comfortable. I was seeking out activities and things that I was comfortable with. I was not pushing the envelope like I was at other times in my life. I was working from home. I was in a routine and not one that was fostering a growth mindset. 

So how do we get out of the rut of competence?

It might be different for everyone, but for me it was finding a new challenge. One of the things I did was sign up for F45 gym membership. This is a high intensity interval training class that changes the workout every day. No day is the same. I have always thought of myself as an athlete, but this class gets me going every day.

Finding a challenge. I went with Ryan Holiday’s Daily Stoic Habits challenge, this 66 day email course sent me a new challenge to do each day that helped me spread my wings and push myself out of my comfort zone and slowly I started to repel from the rut.

Now the problem with getting out of the rut of competence is that you find yourself in a new rut, a rut of incompetence! You are starting something new and of course you are going to suck at it. I felt like I was going to throw up my first week back at the gym. Had many days where I skipped or half assed the challenge for the day. It made me feel uncomfortable… and yet, I was growing.

Upon reflection, I realize that the most fulfilling times in my life were moments where I was challenged in this way but felt enough safety to make mistakes…

In my early days as a restaurant manager, I had no idea what I was doing. Fresh faced, 22 year old kid going up to tables to see how their food was. I was in over my head, but I had a team around me that supported me and kept me going.

Grad school was a challenge, lots of hard work, lots of learning new things and applying it fast. 

The point is, there is a shallower rut of competence in these more structured settings. It was easy enough to stick with the curriculum and move onto the next challenge.

But what do we do when we get older and those structures fade away?

No more curriculum. Busier schedules. Less time. More ego. The challenges that used to keep us going are no longer provided. It is up to us to seek them out and create the environment where we avoid the rut of competence or at least recognize it when it happens.

So, if you are like me and have found yourself in this rut, don’t despair, get out of your own head and take some action. As one my favorite podcasters Rich Roll says, “mood follows action.”

Go take some.

If you are struggling to find a direction, think about what you fear. In Ryan Holiday’s “Courage is Calling” he reminds us that our fears are a self-indicting guide that leads us to what we really need to do. Fear and resistance always votes for procrastination and hesitation. There is always a reason for not doing.

What are you making excuses for?

For me, it was writing and putting my creative voice out in the world. I have done it before, but every time I lose the momentum, it is a fight to get the courage to put it back out there.

I can’t be scared of what people think, well I can and still am, but I am reminded of the quote by Epictitus, “if you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid.”

When we run towards comfort, we are running away from an opportunity to grow.

But what about all the people who started before me… don’t they have a huge head start? I will never catch up.

Nonsense. The myth of the head start is overrated. Sure, the best day to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the next best time is today.

There is copious evidence that head starts often fade out over time. The better approach is to have a growth mindset and adjust as you go along.

No one is good at things right away. But if you have the courage and discipline to continue the pursuit, plan and adjust as you go, the head start won’t mean nearly as much.

Don’t fear the rut of incompetence. It keeps you sharp and whether you know it or not, is broadening your horizons.

Fear the rut of competence and take action to stay out of it.

Change the Damn Water Filter

~ Jeff Kruman ~ Leave a comment

I admit, this is a silly problem.

The water filter on my refrigerator has been in need of changing for longer than I care to admit. Not just that the little light was on telling me it was time to change, that is easy enough to ignore. The water had slowed down to a glacial pace when filling up a glass of water.

Finally, the other morning, I had enough. After another session of filling up the water glass in the morning, I immediately pulled out my phone, opened my apartment’s residence app and put in a work request for a new water filter. (Yes, I live in an apartment and don’t even have to do this myself!)

Within 6 hours, the problem has been resolved and the water is flowing like Niagara Falls (I even overflowed a couple glasses because I was so used to it being slow).

After enjoying a few glasses of fresh water, I found myself wondering why I suffered for so long when the issue could be resolved in less than 2 minutes of my effort.

I procrastinate in many other arenas, ones that I can make much better excuses for, but putting in a work request? Come on man.

“The most pernicious aspect of procrastination is that it can become a habit. We don’t just put off our lives today, we put them off til our deathbed.” While perhaps a bit extreme in the case of changing a water filter, I did change the filter after all. This line from The Art of War by Steven Pressfield stood out to me because this incident made it clear that I was making procrastination a habit.

The water filter became just another thing that “I will get to tomorrow.” Another minor task looming over me. I wasn’t thinking about the water filter all the time, but I was reminded of it every time I was thirsty.

It was easier to continue to live with the default option than take action.

This is a widely documented phenomenon in the field of behavioral economics. Many studies have shown that when there is a default option – in other words, the option that will prevail if the chooser does nothing – most people will stick with that default even if it is not in their best interest. This has been proven when it comes to activities ranging from saving for retirement to choosing a healthcare plan. 

So what happened with my water filter? I chose to stick with the default. Other options, like addressing the problem, were very much available, but I was content with the status quo.

What are some things I can do to prevent this in the future?

Maybe set a reminder on my phone for a few months from now reminding me to put in the work request for a new filter before it starts going bad.

But even more broadly, these tasks and decisions that we punt on weigh on us. The best thing to do with a nagging problem like this is to just do it now. Or at a minimum do it early. I find that when I knock out activities like maintenance requests in the morning I feel some sense of accomplishment. Additionally, tasks like this at the end of the day tend to be draining to me. Get it done, get it over with before the day takes over.

I challenge you to think about the water filters that need changing in your life and just fucking do it.

And if you are still reading and think I am an idiot for writing this piece about my water filter, I will leave you with this quote from Nudge by Richard Thaler.

“People aren’t dumb. The world is hard.”

Here is to making the world a little easier.

It isn’t the Student

~ Jeff Kruman ~ Leave a comment

Recently I have restarted doing training with my dog Georgia who had 2 knee surgeries this year.

Honestly, I never did a great job of training in the first place. We learned some basics, sit, shake, down, stay, even got her to learn some basic recall when in a safe place.

What a good girl!

Before anyone pats me on the back, she had plenty of issues. She is a very bad walker, either stops and stares or often pulls where she wants to go. She has a nasty habit of barking at the door when she hears someone in the hallway of our apartment building.

Part of me thought these were features of my beautiful dog and not a bug.

I was wrong.

Not only was I wrong about whether my dog was capable of training or not, I was focusing on the wrong person in the relationship. The problem was with me!

It became obvious within 10 minutes of working with our trainer that I had failed Georgia in early training. My intentions were great, I was even on the right track many times, but execution was poor to quite poor.

It is important to note here that we are trying to teach Georgia using shaping and positive reinforcement. No prong collars, electrical shock collars or spanking.

One problem I always had with Georgia was that she didn’t seem to pay attention to me in challenging circumstances. In dog training talk, she didn’t “check in”

The first thing we did with the trainer was the attention game. I would get Georgia’s attention with a treat. Then threw a treat a few feet away so she had to go away from me to get it. Afterwards, I waited patiently until she looked at me again. No verbal cue. No hand signal. Just wait until she realizes that looking at me gives her a good chance of getting the treat. 

At first, I rewarded her just for moving her head in my direction. Slowly coaxing her into the behavior I wanted. After a few repetitions, Georgia was flying back to me after the treat with her attention locked on. This took 5-10 minutes and we are already seeing applications in more stressful environments.

One other problem that I had was that she would always burst through a door the moment I opened it. Not ideal for anyone, especially someone on the other side of the door not ready for a dog to come bursting in.

This was where the idea of raising the criteria in very small increments so the trainee actually has a chance for reinforcement was made abundantly clear.

Right when I put Georgia’s leash on, she had her nose up against the door. The trainer had me get her into a sit position a foot away. Slowly, I started touching the door knob and when Georgia didn’t react, she got a treat. 

After she accepted touching the door, we graduated to slightly turning the knob. This proved to be too much too fast and she popped up to get ready to leave.

Now it was time to “Go back to kindergarten” as the trainer said. I got Georgia back in the sit position. Went back to simply touching the door knob, so far so good. Then I took it up the smallest notch I could, simply jiggling the knob a bit.

Georgia didn’t move. 

We continued in this fashion for about 5 minutes, at the end of that period. Georgia was sitting with her attention locked on me while I had built up to holding the door completely open.

I was in apoplectic shock.

We still have a long journey ahead in getting Georgia up to speed on training and obedience. But there is such an important lesson in this experience already.

It is rarely the trainees fault that they are failing to meet expectations and we should spend much more time focusing on the training and the trainer.

With some simple adjustments to my behavior, I had a far more obedient dog in just 2 sessions with our trainer.

Where can this be applied outside of dog training?

At work, are you ever frustrated by a report who just never seems to get it right despite you having told them “a million times” how it should be done?

It reminds me of a story from my time as a restaurant manager. I had an employee who struggled to carry a full tray of drinks to a table without spilling, a pretty key skill for a restaurant server.

I could have had her “just keep at it” until she got it or got so frustrated she decided to quit.

Instead, I had her fill up a tray with kids cups and water and walk around the restaurant for practice. I had inadvertently lowered the criteria to a level she was comfortable with and we built up from there.

If only I had remembered this experience when I first got Georgia.

How can you be a better teacher?

Let’s Stand Together

~ Jeff Kruman ~ Leave a comment
I am not normally one to post on politics. I don’t post it because I feel like it only adds to the division, distrust, and conflict in our society. However, I feel compelled to speak out given what has been happening in this country. It has become obvious to me that NOT sharing my sadness, anger, frustration and confusion is no longer an option. MLK said, “there comes a time when silence becomes betrayal.”
 
I think of myself as a very inclusive person. My whole life, I have had friends of varying ages, color, religion and ethnicity from all over the world. I am very much against racism and hate of any kind. I always try to look at people and treat them exactly the same as I would treat anyone else; no matter what they look like or what language they speak. I always look for the things that we have in common. Before this week, I might have described my attitude towards race as “not seeing color.” And I thought that was a good attitude to have.
 
Not after this week.
 
I am a white man who was born into a middle class family on Long Island, NY. I am aware that there are privileges I have been afforded because of the color of my skin that were not afforded to George Floyd. It isn’t a comfortable thing to think about, but I knew that before this week. This week I was listening to countless black parents talk about how they have to engage with their kids about how to behave themselves in public and around the police. It’s bad enough to be held to a different standard. It’s even worse when you can do all the right things and still lose your life.
 
My parents never had that chat with me. They worried about me not doing drugs and getting into college, not whether or not I would come home alive because of the color of my skin.
 
This week has made me face the fact that my life experience is completely different than any of my black friends growing up and in adulthood. It isn’t comfortable. It really shouldn’t be.
 
I don’t think anyone can possibly watch the video of the murder of George Floyd and not be disgusted, sad and downright pissed off.
 
I have been lucky enough to get to know a lot of good people in law enforcement in my life. When I was a manager at the Old Ebbitt we had police in all the time and they were some of the nicest men and women. The commander of our local precinct gave me his personal number incase I ever had any issues late night.
 
This man, and the one’s who stood by and watched, who knealt on a handcuffed man’s neck while he begged for help until his life was gone do not represent those good cops I knew.
 
However, saying this is one bad apple is not an acceptable response. As a matter of fact, the phrase keeps being used incorrectly. “One bad apple spoils the bunch.” That doesn’t mean those few bad apples just hang out in the bunch without impacting the other apples. This is a systemic problem. George Floyd’s death does not occur in a vacuum. How many black men must die at the hands of the police for something to change?
 
What scares me more is thinking about how many of these abuses and killings happen that go unrecorded. George Floyd’s murderer walked around a free man for days until outrage boiled over. Would we know Ahmaud Arbery’s name if that misplaced accomplice didn’t think sharing the video of a murder would clear his friends’ name?
 
Even if there are fewer than I imagine, the slow reaction to bring to justice those responsible for the death of innocent black men and women doesn’t make you trust the system much.
 
I am glad to hear police officers condemning this horrific murder. But words alone are not enough. Action, sustained action is needed to gain back some of the trust that quite frankly, they don’t deserve right now.
 
We are not just making up for a few decades of police brutality and injustice. The Civil Rights Act passed in 1964. My dad was 10. Slavery was abolished 150 years ago. That is a handful of generations.
 
I don’t know what change looks like exactly. And it is not solved alone with fixing the police. The need for change is evident in the legal system. It is evident in the medical system. It is evident in income distribution. It is evident in our communities right now.
 
I would never advocate for violence, but what else should people do when they feel their backs are up against the wall? When they feel like their ability to live freely and safely is under threat by those sworn to protect it?
 
Colin Kaepernick was driven from football because he took a knee during the national anthem to bring attention to the injustice that killed George Floyd and countless others.
 
If you can’t take a knee or take to the streets, what can you do to bring attention to these important issues?
 
Protests aren’t supposed to be welcomed by everyone. Kaepernick was protesting the status quo. The same goes for Martin Luther King Jr.. We remember him as a great unifier, but people hated him enough to assassinate him because he was taking a stand against the current power structure.
 
There are reports that a lot of this damage is being done by organized small groups trying to diminish the message of the protestors. There are reports that some are organized by foreign actors or organized criminals.
 
Within the protestors themselves, I’m sure there are some bad actors.
 
But, even if there are bad actors, that cannot take away from the importance of the message.
 
Black people are being oppressed.
 
Black people are being killed.
 
If you are more upset by protests in the streets than you are about a race being systematically oppressed and killed, I really don’t know what else to say.
 
Things need to change.
 
Leadership starts at the top. Right now we have a President who has encouraged the police to be rough with suspects. He has shown open disdain for minorities and immigrants. He shows no sympathy. He has politicized support for the police. He encourages white protestors fighting stay at home orders meant to keep them safe and threatens protestors fighting for their right to live. I don’t care who you vote for or if you think Coronavirus is a hoax or not. This is not right.
 
Since when can we not walk and chew gum at the same time? Black Lives Matter doesn’t mean they matter at the expense of other lives.
 
George Floyd’s life mattered to me.
 
Black lives matter to me.
 
If you read this far (and even if you didn’t), your life matters to me.
 
The Talmud says, “if not me, who? If not now, when?”
 
When we revolted from the tyranny of Great Britain, the Declaration of Independence starts, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
 
These “truths” don’t seem self evident right now.
 
Let’s all try to be better.
 
Let’s be part of the change.
 
Let’s stand together.

Turning 30 and Thinking about the Journey

~ Jeff Kruman ~ 1 Comment

Today I turn 30.  When I wrote my birthday reflections these past 2 years, I wrote a list of things I learned. This year, I am going to reflect on one big lesson, the journey.

“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.”

When I graduated high school, I chose this quote by tennis great Arthur Ashe to go under my picture in our yearbook. Looking back on it, it is a pretty profound quote and one I did not fully appreciate when I picked it at age 18.

I am sure I am not alone, but when I was 18 I had a romantic image of where I would be by 30. I imagined by 30 I would have “figured it all out.” Out of all the things I have learned in my first 30 years, one of the most important is how big a trap “figuring it all out” can be.

These past few years have really been a journey of self-exploration and discovery for me. I thought this past year, pursuing my MBA, was the culmination of that self-exploration. However, what I have learned is that this journey of self-discovery and awareness never ends. We never “figure it all out” and those that appear to or say that they do, probably don’t.

The important thing to figure out, is our purpose in this life. I am still working on this one, but I do believe I have a better sense of my purpose after investing in my personal growth and development. I believe it is important for all of us to think about and define our purpose and what motivates us to live up to that purpose.

In one of my classes this year, we learned about theories of motivation. Frederick Herzberg’s two-factor theory refutes the idea that job, and life, satisfaction is one vast spectrum with satisfaction on one side and dissatisfaction on the other.

According to Herzberg, there are aspects of our job, that if not done right, can cause us to be dissatisfied. He calls these elements hygiene factors. These are factors like job status, job security, pay and working conditions. If you have poor hygiene factors, you are likely dissatisfied with your work. Interestingly, having good hygiene factors does not mean you will be happy, it just means you won’t hate your work.

On the other hand, there are intrinsic parts of our jobs that act as motivating factors. These factors include work that challenges you, opportunities for recognition, a sense of responsibility and room for personal growth. It is these elements of a job that make us love to go to work instead of dreading another day.

I believe, and hope, that we have all had experiences where we have felt that kind of motivation.

I also believe that many of us, myself included, make choices only in the pursuit of hygiene factors. When I applied for graduate school, I wrote my application essays about my goals of being an entrepreneur and making an impact on the world. I still have that dream, but it is interesting how easy it is to fall back to a focus on those hygiene factors.

I can’t help but think about the pressure to prove that the investment of time and money to get this degree was worth it. I can’t help but feel the pressure to land a job with a good salary to help pay back the loans I took to go back to school. Even with the best of intentions, the pressure to settle for the hygiene factors is always there.

Herzberg’s theory is not just about work, it is about life in general. You don’t have to look far to see stories about celebrities or the ultra-wealthy who have all the hygiene factors covered but seem to live deeply unhappy lives.

Again, it is easy to focus on these external markers of success. These are the symbols that tell the world we made it. These are the things we can show off to our friends and family on Instagram or LinkedIn. Most likely, these kinds of symbols are serving our ego and not our purpose. As one of my favorite authors, Ryan Holiday writes, “Ego is the Enemy.” Motivating factors are much more personal and harder to articulate in a social media post, but they are the factors that lead to a happy and fulfilling journey.

To be clear, I am not saying that making money or having a high-status job means you will be unhappy. I am saying that if you let those kinds of factors be the priority, you may end up running on a treadmill that never stops. Herzberg’s theory suggests that if you prioritize motivators over hygiene factors you are much more likely to enjoy your job and your life.

I encourage all of us to ask if we are on a path that is meaningful for us. Ask if we have an opportunity to grow. Ask if we are learning new things. Ask if we are in a position to succeed and be recognized for it. These are the important questions, not just the external measurables that are so easy to focus on.

This year has truly been one of the most impactful in my life thus far. I have studied with colleagues from over 40 different countries who have become family to me, I spent time studying and traveling in Europe for 6 weeks and next week I graduate with my MBA. All of these moments, the good, the tough and the in between, have made me a better person. At the end of the day, life is made up of moments and it is important to appreciate them as we tackle our goals. I am grateful for all of it.

As I embark on this next decade of my life, I recognize my journey of discovery and learning never ends. However, it is time to put some of this learning to work and I am excited for this next chapter in my life. Thank you to all who have been a part of my journey so far.

Anyway, happy birthday to me. Happy regular July 31st to you. I hope we can do this again next year.